The following is a short list of 5 criticism floodgates I resolve to close. I also feel it necessary to clarify that the most resilient "hater" has always been myself.
This post is about me, but written for everyone who can identify with the struggle to establish an identity as a single adult. We have to live with the consequences of being ourselves, but we don't always have to apologize for it.
1. "Not Knowing"-
I waste a lot of energy punishing, trying to hide, or explain away knowledge gaps. This represents a block of time I could better spend smoothing them out by asking questions or paying attention.
2. "Caring Too Much"-
This item is not an attempt to excuse past failures in relationships. My greatest strength and weakness is intense passion towards things that interest me. This passion often clouds my judgment when it comes to considering the perspectives of others, but when channeled correctly allows me to create desirable outcomes. At a time when I am primarily focused on establishing myself professionally, I participate in fewer experiments and allow fewer people (outside of my family) close to me, and I have high expectations for outcomes.
3. "Not Dancing"-
Dancing is my second favorite thing to do, but most of time I don't feel like it. I've heard that if I loosened up, I could dance on command. I'll keep it in mind.
Drunkenness and has never held much charm or utility for me. I have never been a big party girl, and it hasn't been for lack of trying. I lost two uncles this year- evidence to a substances power to completely destroy a person. When I do feel like forgetting myself, nothing can stop me; so it's not something that requires practice. I would much rather jump on a plane or drive a few hours if I need a break.
4. "Being Too Serious"-
Smiling IS my favorite thing to do. It happens automatically if I enjoy myself- when I laugh, have a pleasant conversation, or recognize a friend. It happens voluntarily if the situation requires- when someone takes my photo or while assisting a customer.
It does NOT happen when waiting in line to use the restroom, closing shop, driving my car in heavy traffic, or BEING TOLD TO SMILE. I get where you're coming from, but it's extremely patronizing. If we are being reasonable, there is a way better case for why I'm not smiling than for why you think I should.
5. "Being Naïve"-
I spend quite a bit of time in my own world; I like it that way.
It's not news to me that the ideals I express are often unrealistic. The person I have grown into is more fragmented than I expected her to be, but I hope my heart will continue to be a compass for as long as possible. Life's knack for contradicting all of my conclusions about the forces that drive it-truth and faith in the goodness of others- has threatened to destroy me at times, but it also has had a way of redeeming itself and healing most of the wounds I accept.
Another resolution of mine is to get back to blogging. If you like what you read and have time to SHARE, LIKE, or let me know why, I would appreciate it. Also if you have criticism(grammar police especially welcome), I'll take it.
Happy New Year and as always,
Thank you for reading guys.
