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| Banksy, Girl with a Balloon |
We aren't always the best fit for the roles we are assigned, nor are others for the ones we assign them. So how can we hope to avoid heartbreak and disappointment? An argument for detachment is that disappointment comes from our attachments to the behaviors of others, not the behaviors themselves.
When I first dabbled in Buddhism, I rejected its application to the concept of love. I didn't disagree, I didn't misunderstand, I rejected it. I was happily attached at the time. I have been disappointed since then. I have violated. For every unexpectedly wonderful interaction, I have lost someone I never expected to go without. I loved everyone of them. I still do.
I see now that the philosophies are not aimed to separate us from our loved ones- ideas don't have that power- but I do think they guide us towards the practice of considering our lives outside of the context of human relationships.
Anchoring our self-esteem to the behaviors associated with someone else's life will never be as reliable a method for success as being responsible with our focus in the moment and trusting in God to take care of the rest.
Being responsible in lonely times requires an understanding of that emotion as arising from wanting to be closer to someone than I am. I hope I remember that time spent in prayer for others is more applicable to the spiritual life God intends for me than that of frustration or despair.
The following article wraps up with a guided practice of metta(loving-kindness) mediation. If loneliness and its application to yoga interest you, its worth checking out.
http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/1922
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